if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
