the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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