her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
