Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
