girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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