i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
