I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
