In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
