Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
honey bunches of taint.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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