You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
