these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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