Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
