You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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