Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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