ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
