we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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