dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
