So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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