what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
