Non-Jews are for practice
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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