she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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