HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
