I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize