It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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