The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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