Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
