He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
