I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
