ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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