How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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