Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
