She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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