You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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