Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
