idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
