to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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