But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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