Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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