I wish i was in the wii world.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
