If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
