I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
