Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
