Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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