it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
