i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
