Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
