nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
