So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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