it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
