Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
