she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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