Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
