chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
