Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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