This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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