**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
