Your mouth is God's brothel.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
