somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
