Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
