so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
