sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
