I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Randomize
