it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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