Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
