Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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