is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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