I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Even my vagina gasped.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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