Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
